In my last post I said this would be up a week ago. Yeah. I am learning a lot about motherhood, and about how I can’t make any promises. Ever. Cause babies are super big time-sucks.
Oh boy, so here we go with some rambling. This is long. So if you’re on a 15 minute break at work, you might just want to wait till lunch time to read this. Or maybe after work in the comfort of your own home. Ok, well let’s get to it.
First, let me start by saying that I was DESPERATE to get this little guy out of me. I’d tried everything. Walking, climbing stairs, eating spicy food, relations (TMI?), membrane stripping, etc… Sunday, October 24th, I tried Domino’s pizza. Domino’s pizza? you say. Yes. Apparently the cheese is all natural and has prostaglandins in it. FYI, I have not done any research on whether this is fact or fiction, so if it’s fiction, I heard it from Elizabeth L., who said it did the trick for her. Whatever. I was also over at Pastor Peter’s house (which did the trick for Melissa Y.) in hopes that it would send me into labor. And then I had a small glass of wine. Don’t judge me. I was desperate. And both of my prenatal nursing friends said it would be fine. Just fine. So there.
Anyway, so I go to bed on Monday night just completely dreading the fact that I’ll have to get up for work the next morning because hello when is this baby coming and will it ever come and will I just be pregnant forever?! I even get up sometime in the middle of the night to pee and I’m still thinking, “Oh Lord, please, if you just make this baby come so I don’t have to go to work I will do anything. ANYTHING!” But I go back to bed, still pregnant.
Well now. 5:00am rolls around and I wake up and my chonies are soaked. I’m pretty sure I did not just go potty in my bed, so I think my water broke. I call my Doc and she advises me to head in to the hospital. J calls in to work and then wakes up my mom so she can get ready. I get up and start running around packing. Mind you I haven’t had a single contraction yet. I’m thinking all sorts of horrible things like what if they have to give me Pitocin to get my labor started or what if labor doesn’t start at all and then I have to get a C-section.
At about 5:45 we leave for the hospital and I think I might have just had my first contraction. I’m not sure though because it feels more like a small menstrual cramp. But now that we’re in the car and I’m sitting down, I can feel labor starting. Oh yes, that’s a contraction. Oh, and there’s another one. And Oh, what?! They’re only 2 minutes apart? Hmmm. Yeah. That’s a little fast for me. The hospital we head to is about 20 minutes away (we could have gone to a closer one, but I like this one better! It’s pretty!) and I decide to eat some granola and yogurt since they won’t let me have anything once I get there. After all, I will need some energy for the typical 12 hour labor that a first time mom goes through. Right?
Well we get to the hospital and whew! I am having a hard time just walkin’ around now. I think I’d like to lie down. We get out of the car and the first thing I notice is how warm it is outside. It was super weird. Like 60 degrees at 6am. so we get up to the Birth Place and settle in. They check me and sure enough my water is broken and I’m 4 cm dilated. Fantastic. We are going to have a baby today! One of the machines in my room is not working so they wheel me to another room and I get settled in there. I’m trying to do all of my relaxation techniques. J is rubbing my back. Mom is rubbing my forehead. I’m getting a little scared. But it’s all going to be ok. It can’t be that bad, can it?
Oh, let me tell you, dear reader, yes it can be that bad.
Because all of a sudden my labor kicks into high gear and I am freaking out. FREAKING OUT!! I start screaming. And remember the yogurt and granola I had for breakfast? Yeah, that comes back to haunt me as it forces its way back up my throat and out into the pink bucket my mom so lovingly grabbed. Thank God she was there because J had to leave the room for that little moment. Poor guy can’t handle the vomit.
I ask the labor nurse to check me to see how far along I am. 6-7 cm. That’s it? No way. I cannot handle this anymore. So I scream for the epidural. The labor nurse says the anesthesiologist will be here in 10-15 minutes. Ok, I can handle that. That’s like 5-7 contractions away. We can do this. I’m screaming through them, but I can do it.
15 minutes passes and the guy is still not here. Really? This is going to go on forever! So the anesthesiologist gets there about 20 minutes after I’d asked for him. And he stands there, smiling at me. SMILING at ME, in LABOR. And the only thing I can think of is “Why the heck are you smiling at me and why are you moving so SLOW!!!!!!!!!!” Cause seriously people, he was moving like molasses. Then he wants to ask all these questions about my health history and tells me what to do if I feel a metallic taste or a tingling or whatever and I’m like “yeah, yeah, yeah, JUST GIVE ME THE DRUGS, jerkface!” So he finally gets the epidural in.
The nurse comes back to check me a few minutes later and I’m 9.5 cm dilated! And my epidural is finally kicking in. Thank you Lord. So now I feel like I can breathe at least. And the interesting thing that I didn’t know about epidurals is that you can still feel the pressure of the contraction, but you can’t feel the sharp pain. So it’s still kind of a painful thing, but it’s much more bearable now. And the best part about it is that you can feel when to push, so you push with your body’s own rhythm instead of being coached by a doctor. Love it.
So anyway. Remember how we got to the hospital at 6:15 am? Well now it’s 8:20am and it’s already time to push. Yes. So mom grabs one knee and J grabs the other and they encourage me and help me along the way. I’m exhausted. And I’m trying to push. And one of the nurses keeps telling me I’m doing it wrong. “Now next time with your elbows out a little more, not back… No, bring your knees apart more… Don’t grunt, just push…” Whatever lady, can’t you see I’m trying to have a baby here?! The head is crowning and my Doc asks me if I want to feel it. Feel it? No! I want the thing out of me, I don’t want to feel it! Are you crazy?
And finally at 8:48am, Gunnar David makes his entrance into the world! Oh thank God. I will not be pregnant forever.
So, let’s recap. For those of you math wizards, you will realize that I had less than 4 hours between my water breaking and meeting baby Gunnar. Here’s an easy timeline…
5:00 water breaks
5:45 leave for hospital/contractions begin
6:15 get to hospital/real good contractions begin
8:20 start pushing
8:48 Gunnar is here!!
Dang. And the first thing all the nurses told me was that when I have another one, I’d better head to the hospital even if I think I’m just having some false labor contractions. But all I’m thinking is there’s no way I’m ever going to do this again.
Of course, the memory fades and now I know I’ll do it again. Someday. Not soon. But someday.